Lesson one: Don’t give a kid a tattoo
A North Carolina mom was arrested after she gave her 11-year-old daughter a heart shaped tattoo. The mom, 30, is a tattoo artist herself and saw nothing wrong with the idea of tatting-up her daughter. You know, besides the point that it’s illegal and all. Her defense? Her daughter said she wanted it. I guess that means it’s okay. Lol
Lesson two: Don’t lick poles
Remember when your parents said not to lick a frozen pole in winter because your tongue might get stuck? Well this warning also extends to any public poles in any season. This guy clearly wasn’t listening when his parents gave him that bit of knowledge, as he licked an entire handrail at a NYC subway station. All those germs weren’t even worth his friends giving him one dollar for doing it. That one dollar won’t even pay for his inevitable hospital bill! Not Smart.
Lesson three: Don’t disturb endangered spiders
This construction site in San Antonio, Texas has been interrupted, by none other than a tiny spider. The spider, which is the size of a dime, was thought to be extinct! Since it’s a federally protected endangered species, construction has come to a complete halt. I can’t help thinking if only my brother was working that site that fine day. He would’ve spotted that poor spider and killed it instantly. But not before screaming like a little girl, of course.
Lesson four: Be wary of pole dances
A Pennsylvania man, is suing a gentleman’s club because of a pole-dance he received at his bachelor party that resulted in his bladder bursting. Apparently a stripper slid down the pole onto his crotch with such force that his bladder ruptured and he had internal bleeding. Surgery was needed to fix the damage. He is suing for $50,000. Be careful kids, strip clubs are dangerous.
Lesson Five: Never give up on maple syrup
About a month ago, I reported a weird story where hundreds of barrels of maple syrup went missing in Quebec. Well, Canadians can wipe their tears from their faces because police found about 600 barrels in Kedjwick, New Brunswick. Still, I can’t figure out how people managed to steal that much maple syrup without at least ONE person noticing.. Oh well, as long as I have my syurp in the morning, I’m happy!