By Kelly Burns
Zombies really do exist? 
Richard Cimino Jr., might actually be a zombie. The naked man, broke into two houses before jumping off a two story house and injuring himself to the point where he was bloody. But this didn’t stop him from wanting brains! He spotted a woman nearby and started to chew on her head. The Pennsylvania incident happened at around 5 a.m., Friday. Don’t worry, the woman’s brains were spared, but what’s wrong with people in this world? I’m going to have nightmares for weeks! It is way to close to Halloween for things like this to be going down.
Don’t forget to check your attic for monsters!
Remember when you used to check your closet and under your bed at night for monsters? Well if you don’t remember doing this, this story will make you start. A women in Rock Hill, S. C., heard a thump in her attic and saw some nails popping out of her ceiling. She thought it was probably ghosts. Turns out it was her ex-boyfriend whom she dated 12 years ago, living in her attic! He was eventually discovered by her older sons and nephew and fled. This is the creepiest thing ever! Luckily I don’t have an attic cause that would just add another spot I’d have to check before bed.
Sh*t-Faced! Literally
This takes being ‘Sh*t-Faced’ to a whole new level. Johnny Broestler, is facing battery charge after allegedly smearing pooped-stained underwear in 60-year-old Walter Liddell’s face. This Florida incident happened after Broestler barged into Liddell’s trailer and demanded he give the landlord rent. The trailer bit, explains it all. Oh, trailer park drama, how I love you.
Mother gets ticket from police after her two-year-old, pees in public
Caroline Robbey, was out with her three children and in-laws when her youngest son, had to go to the bathroom suddenly. Like most kids, he told his mom at the very last second. They couldn’t find a bathroom so she told him he could in a grassy area nearby. Police saw this and gave the woman a ticket. The incident, which happened last Sunday, upset the mother. She can’t believe she got a ticket for a potty-training emergency. Honestly was there no other crime happening in this town? How ridiculous.
Starbucks a Day Will Make you Lose Weight?
Christine Hall, 66, ate only food from Starbucks for the past two years, and has gone from 190 to 114 pounds! She said she tracked her calorie intake and ate there everyday since it was close to her work. Maybe I should have tracked my calories too, cause I worked at Starbucks for just over five years, but I gained 15 pounds.
