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RECAP: Everyone wants to be “The New Rachel” on Glee

Posted on September 14, 2012 by
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While McKinley’s glee club holds auditions to replace all the graduated singers, Rachel deals with a bitchy instructor at NYC, played by the ever-fabulous Kate Hudson.

Here’s what you need to know from last night’s episode, “The New Rachel.”

1. Glee Club is now cool: Since New Directions won the championship last year, all the students that previously mocked them and cruelly threw red slushies in in their faces basically want to be buddy buddy because hey, glee club is now for winners. Unfortunately, now that the ND’s members are hip enough to hang with the Cheerios, they’re also developing major attitude issues. Luckily the Cheerios realize the glee club is too losery cool for them and social order is restored.

2. Everyone wants to be the new Rachel: Now that Rachel’s left to get her ass kicked in NYC, everyone wants to take her place as the lead singer. The previously shy Tina is now a major diva and wants to be lead vocalist in glee. Unfortunately she’s got some competition in cross dresser Wade and I’m predicting a fierce diva battle. There are too many egos in this group.

3. We have two new stars: Puck’s younger half-brother is our new badboy, immediately causing trouble by lashing out at his audition. He’s going to be our new eye candy while Marley is our new sweetheart. She’s our relatable everyday girl who doesn’t have a lot of money but has a killer voice. Her mom secretly works in the cafeteria and all the students make fun of her. Marley grapples with familial insecurities, which we can all relate too.

4. Rachel’s no longer the lead cookie: Rachel used to be a big fish in a little sea but now she’s like a tiny minnow in an ocean. She struggles most with a NYADA bitchface instructor named Cassandra, played by Kate Hudson. Rachel’s just a little too prude for NYC so I’m hoping the city will kick the crap out of her and build her back up. Once she loosens up, I see Barb-potential!

5. Rachel and Finn are drifting: Finn is in the army and Rachel met a dangerously cute guy named Brody, a junior who walks around in the morning with his loin cloth towel nearly falling off his junk. This guy is trouble in a good way!

Top  songs: Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe” and Imagine Dragon’s “It’s Time.”

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