By Kelly Burns
Man fakes his own death to propose to his girlfriend
Thirty-year-old Alexey Bykov decided to fake his own death in order to propose to his girlfriend Irina Kolokov. Apparently a simple, romantic walk on the beach wasn’t good enough for him. He worked with a stuntman, makeup artist, screenwriter and director to create a fake car accident. When Kolokov arrived at the scene, she was told he was dead and burst into tears. That’s when Bykov, ‘came back to life,’ and proposed. She said yes… I will never understand love.
Emergency: Beer Shortage for Germany’s Oktoberfest
It’s September already, and that means Oktoberfest is right around the corner! Unfortunately, it might not be as much fun this year because German breweries are finding they don’t have enough supply due to consumers not returning their bottles. Sure the economy might be a big question on everyone’s minds right now, but let’s sort out the REAL crisis, beer.
Elderly farmer accidentally grows field of pot

A 74-year-old German farmer is in trouble with police due to the field of marijuana he “accidentally” grew. When asked by police about his illegal crop, he said he was trying to grow a field of sunflowers. He ended up sowing bird seeds since he didn’t have sunflower seeds and they grew into pot plants. Bird seeds sometimes contain hemp so the mixup can actually happen. If only he had tried to taste one of the buds…
No rings to rule them all: Ebay bans sales of “Metaphysical Goods”

Ebay decided to end all sales of “Metaphysical Goods,” stating they want consumers to have consistent and trusted experience. So I guess people were buying spells and potions and perhaps not all of them were working. Makes sense.. I mean I wouldn’t just buy my potions online from some stranger… I prefer the old man that you can sometimes find around the corner of Younge and Dundas. I mean, this guys swears they work. I will totally be famous when I use mine. He says it worked for him… Wait…
A Mars bar a day, keeps the doctor away?

Recently, Mars bars creators wrote to a family-owned pub in Scotland, which allegedly started the ‘deep-fried-mars-bar” phenomenon, to tell them not to use Mars’ name on the menu. Why? Well, Mars says deep-fried Mars bars do not coincide with the company’s vision of promoting a healthy, active lifestyle. LOLZ! Are you kidding Mars? When I think of a Mars bar, I don’t think of a healthy balanced lifestyle. Does this mean we’ll see more commercials of uber skinny models, sitting on patios with they’re girlfriends, smiling and laughing and eating the ‘healthy goodness,’ of a Mars bar? These companies kill me.


