Tebowing gone very wrong
Seventeen-year-old Josh Ehrenberg was mowing the lawn at home in Pennsylvania, just minding his business like any other day. Out of nowhere a bald man wearing glasses drove up in his Chrysler, got out of the car and knocked Ehrenberg off his lawnmower by “close-lining” him. As if that wasn’t weird enough, the guy “Tebowed” after Ehrenberg fell off. For those who don’t know, “Tebowing” is the act of praying just like Tim Tebow, a quarterback for the New York Jets. He always prays before or after he gets off the field. So naturally, you would stop and pray after pushing someone off a lawnmower? Weirdo.
Canadians love Maple Syrup
Millions of dollars worth of maple syrup was stolen from a St. Louis-De-Blandford facility in Quebec leading a lot of people to say “Canada, you had one job and you MESSED IT UP!” The facility holds 10 million pounds of maple syrup for distribution mainly when there are bad years and not enough can be harvested. All I can say is if I don’t have maple syrup on my pancakes this year, because of whoever stole it, I am going to cry! We Canadians love our Maple Syrup!
Women joins search party that is looking for her
A tour group near Eldgja Canyon, Iceland thought they lost a tourist after she got off the bus to freshen up. The woman discreetly returned and joined the search party without realizing they were looking for her the whole time. About 50 people searched for a few hours until they eventually figured it out. That would’ve been pretty embarrassing, how the hell did those people not recognize it was her though? When she changed clothes did she change into a full cat-women costume with a mask or something? I don’t understand.
Big news: Cow stuck in a Tree
A cow in northern England is now safe after he fell about 10 metres down a river embankment and got stuck in a tree. Fire crews rescued the cow with a little help from a veterinarian, who sedated him so he wouldn’t be injured. I would’ve loved to see the operator’s face when she got that call.
Apply now to be a hangman
If you live in Sri Lanka, they’re looking for a few hangmen. Since there are a lot of inmates on death row and one hangman retired and one promoted, they’re going to need help. The problem is they’ll only hire men for the position. Darn, I was going to go apply. Oh well, maybe there’s a torture punishment I can apply for — cause my singing could totally qualify.