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Weird News: No, fireworks don’t go there mister and more

Posted on August 8, 2012 by
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Every week ANDPOP columnist Kelly Burns narrows down the most bizarre stories of the week. They’re not exactly newsworthy but just weird enough to grab our attention. This week, San Francisco offers awesome Jedi classes and a dude busted for marijuana shows us why logic is a valuable skill. 

The Dark Knight rises is arrested 

So Matthew Argintar obviously hasn’t seen ANY Batman movies, but dresses up like the hero and freaks the public right out. The 23-year-old, was arrested outside a New Jersey Home Depot, after being spotted dressed up as Batman, and asking people if they needed any help. Hey Matthew! Watch the movies! Batman doesn’t just ask random people if they need help. He knows where the bad guys are and saves those already in distress.. DUH! With the recent Colorado shooting, this is not a funny prank…

Warning: don’t insert in anus 

I can’t believe people actually are dumb enough to do this! A man in Australia must have watched Jackass, cause he decided he would stick some fireworks in his buttocks and light them off for kicks. Well, this didn’t end well, for OBVIOUS REASONS! He was treated for burns to his cheeks, back and privates. SMH Do we really need this warning added to firework labels? Warning: Please do not insert in anus.

How to be a Jedi 101

Alright, so this might actually be my dream come true. If you love Star Wars like me and have always wanted to be a Jedi Knight, NOW YOU CAN! In San Francisco, there are lightsaber training classes for adults. The end goal of the class is to reenact the ending scene from The Empire Strikes Back, when Luke and Darth Vader have it out. I think I’m vacationing in San Francisco this Fall.

Drugs are bad mmkay? 

Don’t mess with a John Deere! Or at least not this guy. Roger Pion, 34, drove his tractor to the Orleans County Sheriff’s Department in Derby, Vermont., and rolled right over seven marked police cruisers and one unmarked. The attack is believed to be in revenge after he was arrested for marijuana possession and resisting arrest. Now the original charges are the least of his worries. After crushing about $250,000 worth of police property, he’s got 99 problems and a joint ain’t one.

Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day – No Gay’s Allowed

Mike Huckabee, former Arkansas governor, made a Facebook event and invited people to eat at Chick-Fil-A on Aug. 1 to support the views of both his Conservatives and the Chick-Fil-A company. They don’t believe in gay marriage. Am I the only person who thinks this is outrageous? I mean it’s a discriminatory event that people all over the United States took part in. It is 2012 people! Can we move forward, not backward?

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