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Ten dramatic readings of Fifty Shades of Grey

Posted on July 26, 2012 by

If you can’t stand to read the book on your own, let these celebrities and YouTubers do it for you…

Ellen Degeneres

Ellen was asked to record the steamy novel Fifty Shades of Grey but was shocked at the pornographic language, so she opted to paraphrase the most obscene terminology (think of secret gardens and hammers). She went one step further by adding in sound effects, using her own vocalizations and props. Oh my.

Gilbert Gottfried

Gilbert Gottfried’s cranky voice doesn’t lend itself well to BDSM. We hope this doesn’t ruin the book for you.

Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart is pretty awkward on her own, without having to read about anal fisting and sex contracts. She and RPatz were originally a fan favourite to star in the movie adaptation, which makes sense since the book was originally Twilight fan fiction. Canadian viewers can watch her read it here.
This drunk chick

This drunk chick reads Fifty Shades of Grey while (obvs) drinking white wine. For some reason, she insists on speaking in a variety of Shakespearean accents, even though both Christian and Anastasia are both American. This is why you disable your webcam before a night at the bar people…

Duke Nukem

Jon St. John was convinced by Team Four Star to read a few lines from 50 Shades of Gray in his Duke Nukem voice. He definitely wins as sexiest reader…

Jimmy Fallon’s Fifty Shades of Karaoke

Reading the words out loud is one thing, but singing them is too much to handle. The rules are simple: sing the excerpts you see on the monitor. The dialogue is directly taken from the book, meaning you’ll inevitable be singing about caressing booties and brownie sex.

LukeIsNotSexy and BriBryontour

 and BriBryontour went straight to the naughtiest bits of 50 Shades of Grey. Even though the book is filled with words like cunnilingus and bondage the guys find the word “panties” the funniest. They claim: “You’ll find a cock on every page!”

The 3 Golden Sisters

We originally saw these ladies watching Kim Kardashian’s sex tape. Now they’re outraged at 50 Shades of Grey, particularly the fact that Anastasia Steele signs a sexual contract. As one says: “I’ve talked to younger women in their 30s and they absolutely can’t put this book down. I’m puzzled! I don’t know why.” Well, I think a lot of people can you why ladies…

The Cookie Monster

I thought the Cookie Monster’s singular obsession was baked goods but I guess he has a dark, secret fondness for erotic novels too.

Mark, the embarrassed dude

There’s nothing funnier than watching a dude read Fifty Shades of Grey when he REALLY DOESN’T WANT TO. Mark reads excerpts to help his brother raise $1000 towards his AIDS/LifeCycle fund. He can’t stand the poor writing and halfway through he’s blushing and saying: “WHY DID I DO THIS?” and “I’m going to die from embarrassment.”

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  • Hi

    That guy is cool and so down to earth. Love to see him having fun in his well deserved freetime :D