By Kelly Burns
Everything is better with hot sauce..
At least according to Mike Tyson. Last week, on the show “Watch What Happens: Live,” Tyson was finally asked the question: What does a human ear taste like? This, after his infamous boxing fight in 1997 against Evander Holyfield, when Tyson bit both of his ears. First Tyson replies with “It depends which ear you bite.”
Then he follows saying if the ear would’ve had Holyfield’s Real Deal BBQ sauce on it “that would have been a delicacy.”
You have to love Mike Tyson. This guy just talks so casually about biting human ears like it’s as common as drinking water. You can find Holyfield’s barbecue sauce online if your interested in trying some, just add it to your favourite meat, hopefully one that isn’t human. [Source]
Chicken heart attack
I wish I could say I made this one up, but I’m just not that creative. This story is actually better than a movie script and it’s all true. Joy McDonald is facing up to a $1000 fine and possible jail time following an incident East of Kansas City, which resulted in the death of a chicken. McDonald’s two Chihuahuas Peaches and Domino got loose on April 5 and ran into the neighbours’ yard. They eventually found their way into the chicken coop and allegedly barked and chased down a chicken, causing it to suffer a heart attack and die. Basically, these dogs literally scared the poor bird to death. The chicken is a beloved pet of George and Nittaya Gamblin, who don’t want to see McDonald go to jail, but want her to realize she needs to keep an eye on her dogs. This isn’t the first run-in they’ve have had with the chickens. Can you imagine the conversation in the jail cafeteria?
So what are you in for? I murdered my husband, I robbed a bank… my dogs scared my neighbours’ chicken to DEATH. [Source]
Men who dress like goats
Haven’t you always wanted to dress up like an animal and go hang out with them? Ya, me neither, but someone is doing just that in the mountains of Northern Utah. An unknown person has been seen dressed as a goat, hanging out with a herd of REAL goats in the wild. A man hiking saw the goat impersonator hanging out and couldn’t believe what he was seeing, so he took a few photos to show Phil Douglass who works in Wildlife Resources in Utah. Douglass is worried for the man’s
sanity safety as goat hunting season starts in September. Won’t the guy hunting be upset when he goes to get his goat and realizes it’s a human in a goat suit? Ribs for dinner anyone? [Source]
Can I suck your toes?
Seriously people you need to USE YOUR BRAIN. When a guy comes up to you asking if he can kiss your foot and in exchange offers to buy your Wal-Mart items, DON’T do it. An 18-year-old girl made the mistake of letting it happen. The man allegedly said he was part of America’s Funniest Home Videos, and the stunt was for the show. So the girl let him, only when she did he decided he would suck on her big toe as well. This is when the girl freaked out and ran away. I have two thoughts on this one: 1) Why did it take him sucking her toe to freak her out? Why was she not freaked out that this stranger wanted to kiss her foot in the first place? 2) This guy’s face is in perfect kicking range. Why not let the creep get what’s coming to him? That’s what I would’ve done. Or better yet, if this guy asks you, say “sure give me one minute.” Then run over to the food isle and sprinkle some Tabasco Sauce on your toes. Walk back and watch him suffer with hot sauce burning up his dirty, dirty mouth. [Source]
Raccoons are the new urban wolves?
This is ridiculous on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin. Michaela Lee, 28, was jogging with her dog in Lakewood, Washington last Monday, when her dog got loose and chased some raccoons. Her dog chased them up a tree, and when she went to get her dog, the raccoons came out of hiding and began to chase her. Lee said there were about five raccoons, what seemed to be a mother and her babies. She didn’t make it very far when the raccoons somehow knocked her down and attacked her. She escaped with over 100 puncture, scratch and bite wounds. If raccoons are starting to win fights with people, I’m scared for the human race. I would like to offer some advice for all of you out there thinking: How would I ever survive such an attack?
Tip # 1 Perhaps you should start going to the gym or at least stop eating KFC everyday cause there is absolutely no reason why a 28 year old cannot out run a raccoon.
Tip # 2 If raccoons are catching up to you how about just turn around and fight back? Now I’m not saying to just walk up to a raccoon and kick it, but if you are about to get in a fight with one then its self defense right? You are about 10 times the size of a raccoon, even if you don’t make contact, they should be scared of your swinging leg. Hello people!
If you’re unable to perform one or both of these tips, then you deserve to be beat up by a pack of wild raccoons. [Source]
FAIL: Robber gets stuck in blinds
It takes a special talent to end up tangled in window blinds, but that’s exactly what happened when Thomas Molina attempted to steal computer hardware from Central New Mexico Community College. Police were called to the college in Albuquerque, N.M last Sunday where they found 38-year-old Thomas stuck in the blinds. Perhaps instead of stealing from the college, he should’ve enrolled because honestly, how is someone so dumb to get stuck in blinds? Kids, stay in school or this is how you’ll end up — either stuck in blinds or trapped in a revolving door. [Source]