One of the
worst best parts of reading celebrity gossip rags is that they justify your seemingly banal life by providing photo evidence of celebrity GODS (in their books) doing the exact same thing you did just a couple days ago. The best part is that they feature the photos non-ironically, as though they actually believe celebrities are a different species, to be studied from an anthropological perspective. ”Hey look!” they say. “Alexander Skarsgard also uses grocery baskets to store his eggs and Hamburger Helper. Gosh, here I though I was the only one. What a relief”
Check out Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth (above) skateboarding down the street. I was sure they were chartered around their city in roomy private jets. In fact, sometimes they’ll skate down the street just to get Freezie.
I confirm it’s true. The celebrities that walk among us aren’t pods. They are REAL people. Just like you. And I will prove it. [Note: Our version is meant to be ironic.]
They take cheesy tourist photos!!
Check out Jelena (FYI that’s Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber) posing in front of a graffitied-wall in Japan. Selena tweeted: ”Hi Japan. I heart you.” I’m pretty sure I have this exact same photo in much less spectacular places, including my local dog-friendly park and in front of the fireplace for a family Christmas card. Note that Jelena resorted to the awkward “I don’t know what to do with my hands, screw it I’ll just do the peace sign” pose, JUST LIKE YOU.
What a relief.
They grocery shop!!
I was confident celebrities sent minions to pick up their celery and wheatgrass shots but some of them deign to set foot in a grocery store. Taylor Swift even wheels her own cart. Just like you.
What a relief.
They bite their nails!!
I’m admittedly a nail biter.
So it’s a relief to know Selena Gomez hasn’t combatted her habit. Here she is at St. Kilda (Melbourne) bar Hotel Barkly, probably biting her nails because she can’t decide whether to get a Coke or Diet Coke. Who knew some celebrities also have gnarled, unsightly nails?
They eat food!!
Wow! Here I was thinking all celebrities were fed vital nutrients intravenously. Not only do they eat food (and lots of it) as Robert Pattinson shows us, they’re also victims of inconveniently-shot photos. Who knew?