We already saw five teens who are saving themselves for One Direction, but what happens when they’re let out on the street? Total mayhem. Running. Confusion. Tears streaking black mascara.
I diagnose all these ladies with One Direction Hysteria, an addiction that can only be reversed through intervention and intense rehab. If you or someone you know is showing one of these symptoms, contact a hypothetical boy band doctor immediately.
1) The unquestioned confidence that you can convince four 1D members to be in a polygamous marriage, because one isn’t enough.
2) Constantly looking at the sky and asking “Why? Why are they SO BEAUTIFUL?”
3) Losing balance and toppling to the ground in a fit of sobs. Wearing a green superhero cape and carrying One Direction paraphernalia will not ward off symptoms like garlic. In fact, it will make it worse.
4) Extreme happiness that results in methodical crying and running mascara.
5) Creating pacts/alliances so you and your groupies have a better chance of finding 1D, getting their autographs or in extreme cases, locks of hair.