USA Votes The Top Ten ‘Creepy’ Americans

Posted on October 28, 2011 by

Just in time for Halloween, a company called E-Poll conducted a survey to find out who gives America the creeps. The poll surveyed 1100 Americans and asked them to rate celebrities based on 100 different possible attributes. The following list indicates what percentage of the sample group checked off “creepy” for each celebrity.

1. Marilyn Manson..69%

2. Casey Anthony…57%

3. O.J. Simpson….56%

4. Spencer Prat….49%

5. Nadya Suleman…41%

6. Charlie Sheen…34%

7. Eliot Spitzer…34%

8. Woody Allen…..31%

9. Tim Burton……31%

10. Jesse James…..30%

Topping the list of creepy celebrities is a man who allegedly had a rib surgically removed in order to perform oral sex on himself (Marilyn Manson). Also on the list are two of America’s most famous accused murderers (Casey Anthony, O.J. Simpson) and a warlock from planet Awesome (Charlie Sheen). For the most part, the list is fairly predictable. The only real surprise is a neurotic film -maker who fell in love with his adopted daughter (Woody Allen). Perhaps that’s not as surprising as one may think.

Surprisingly, none of the cast members from Jersey Shore made the list. (Personally I thought The Situation was a shoe-in for the top spot.) None of the Guidos or Guidettes even broke the the top ten but somehow Eliot Spitzer has a strong hold on seventh spot.

In addition, the same survey also determined which celebrities have the most marketing potential. Of the top ten listed above, Spencer Pratt from The Hills and ‘Octomom’ Nadya Suleman proved to have the least marketing potential, demonstrating that America will gladly watch these idiots but probably wouldn’t purchase a product they endorse.

These statistics are pretty reassuring. Americans show they haven’t lost the ability to think rationally and I agree with them. I would never purchase anything from a psychopath with a frozen sperm fetish. Nor would I buy anything from a delusional moron still caught in a shame spiral after he and his Franken-Bride were last seen on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. 

Well done, America.

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