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Movie Review: Twilight New Moon

Posted by Eric Emin Wood on November 20th, 2009

Twilight New MoonI am not the audience for this movie.

I did not see the original Twilight. I read the novel and was horrified; how many teenage girls truly believe that men like Edward Cullen exist? (Fewer, probably, than the number of boys men who expect to meet a gorgeous independent woman who caters to their every whim and is miraculously attracted to slovenly underachievers, but that’s a rant for another film.) In real life a man who stalks protects a woman the way Edward does will continue to do so whether her life’s in danger or not. Perhaps the majority of Twilight fans recognize this, and treat the stories as wish fulfillment, much as this reviewer does with good romantic comedies (though not, it must be said, The Ugly Truth, which peddled a similar adolescent fantasy).

On that level, New Moon delivers. It reproduces the central appeal of the books: a man who’s faster, stronger, more romantic, better at playing baseball and musical instruments alike and more beautiful than anyone you could possibly imagine falls for Bella Swan, an ordinary, unremarkable-looking girl, and continually professes not only that he loves her, but that he cannot live without her. So protective is he that when his otherworldly urges place her in danger he actually abandons her to protect her.

This is the basest sort of adolescent fantasy, the kind any writer who’s attended university could dream up, and yet it would be undone by a sense of manufactured cynicism if author Stephenie Meyer didn’t wholeheartedly believe in it. She does, and it would appear a wide cross-section of the western world does too.

The audience I saw New Moon with cheered when Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner entered, gasped when Bella was attacked by a vampire and cheered when a pack of werewolves defended her. Director Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass) provides plenty of eye candy, and even throws in a flourish or two (I enjoyed the way he depicted three months passing). With two exceptions – one of the worst-looking CG werewolves I’ve ever seen (only one, thankfully, not the entire pack, and only for one shot) and a flash-forward near the end that I doubt was intended to elicit hearty laughter from the audience but did – he gets the job done.

My problem with the movie lies completely with the source material. I hate Bella; she’s a wallflower, reacting to (instead of acting upon) events around her by screaming, moping and becoming recklessly suicidal when Edward leaves, yet suddenly protective of (and willing to die for) him if he’s in the room and in danger. Fans of Edward will be less than pleased that he’s off-screen for more than half the movie, appearing sporadically in a series of visions. And we all know the central conflict in Twilight is a metaphor for sex, with vampirism standing in for the horrid corruption that awaits Bella should she (gasp!) consummate her relationship with Edward without tying the knot first. To phrase it diplomatically, I do not share Meyer’s Mormon beliefs.

On the other hand, how is an adolescent girl’s desire to meet someone as protective as Edward any different from the hope that your True Love is out there, somewhere, and you could meet them, which forms the backbone of all romantic comedies?

I was completely and utterly indifferent to New Moon. Its fans will lap it up.

andPOP rating - 3 stars

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  • Katy

    New Moon was a terrible movie. The makers tried to hard to put everything from the book into the film. It is choppy and unclear as to what story is being told. Also the “commercials” that took place during the movie were awful, two words Virgin Airlines!!! and the flashback of Alice’s vision that showed Edward and Bella running through the woods was the most embarrassing thing I have ever seen in a movie. Summit, Chris, the producers, and screen writer should send apologies to every fan!!!

  • Eric Emin Wood

    Glad to read a fan saying it and not me.

    Though the audience I saw it with genuinely seemed to love it.