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Rant ‘N Rave: The I Hate My Life Songs

Posted by Irene Ogrodnik on April 7th, 2009

Simple PlanFrom time to time, I’m all down for some self-pity music. Once in awhile, I even like (some) lyrics that belt about broken hearts and broken dreams. But while some find such songs always comforting, others find an overuse extremely annoying.

I, of course, agree with the latter.

Let’s face it. We all have problems.  Some of us confide our hatred for life on our Facebook statuses or on Twitter (oh you know who you are).

Others, like myself, prefer to keep our sorrow to ourselves.

The best complainers are artists who whine about the roads they’ve paved. Oh and about the millions of dollars they earned. And about how their ridiculous fame is too much for them to handle, as though they had no choice in the matter.  

So, without further ado, here’s to the top five whiniest music singles (although there is many more) written by singers who, for one reason or another, think they have it a lot  worse than their fans.

(Warning: Do not be alarmed if Simple Plan takes up most of the five spots).

5) ‘Rumors’ by Lindsay Lohan: We should’ve seen at what was to come when Lindsay released first her single ‘Rumors’ years back.  She pleaded with the public to quit following her. To stop, you know, spreading rumours about her. Considering Lindsay only really burst into worldwide fame after the release of ‘Mean Girls’ the year prior, her “I’m tired of rumors starting” to her “I’m sick of being followed” to “I’m tired of people lying, saying what they want about me” lyrics were a bit premature. The funny part? The lyrics to this song are even more ridiculous when we look at Lindsay now. From her constant public fights with her now ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson, to her just plain ridiculous driving habits, this girl doesn’t need anyone to start rumours to make her look bad. Unsurprisingly, this is the only thing she does very well on her own.

 4) Tug of War – Carly Rae Jepsen: When I first heard this single on the radio, I couldn’t believe anyone would air this garbage. If you neglect to listen to the Carly’s other songs,  you won’t realize that this girl actually has some music with substance. But, based on the single ‘Tug of War’ alone, it’s hard to imagine that this Canadian artist has any lyrical talent. Ahem, it pains me to re-write the lyrics from the chorus ‘Tug of War’ but here it goes:

“Don’t go out with the boys tonight, I won’t sleep a wink, wondering what you’re doing.

Don’t go out with the girls tonight, I will turn to drink, wondering what you’re proving.”

When I hear this song on the radio, I HOPE that he goes out with the girls tonight to prove whatever this artist doesn’t want him to prove. If Carly actually relates to what she spews out of her mouth, she needs to either a) dump this guy if he cannot be trusted or b) not date at all in order to avoid any behaviour that’s bound to resemble Glenn Close’s character in ‘Fatal Attraction.’

3) Lucky – Britney Spears: Oh Britney. She’s so lucky. She’s a star. But she cry cry cries in her lonely heart thinking if there’s nothing missing in [her] life then why do these tears come at night?

Could Britney’s lyrics get any worse? Yes, If You Seek Amy proves it so. However, I will give Britney kudos for one thing when it comes to her single ‘Lucky’. She admits that nothing is missing in her life (except, a few years later, she might say sanity) but that she still is just lonely. How sad. It still doesn’t forgive the fact that everyone who rises to fame in their life still needs to find a way to complain about their different lifestyle and their success. No one proves this point better than number two and number one on this list.

2) Welcome to My Life – Simple Plan:  I know there’s a name for bands like Simple Plan. Punk? No. Emo? Not quite. Crap? Yup, that’s it. This band defines everything that is wrong with the music business. Simple Plan’s songs are talentless and redundant. When they sing such lyrics, I want to, excuse my explicitness, rip my ears off.  For example: “No you don’t know what it’s like,? when nothing feels all right,? You don’t know what it’s like, To be like meeeeee”

Regardless of how I may come off in my rants, I love my life. And, the fact that this band complains about godknowswhat somehow gives me the urge to shove them into something. But, then again, perhaps I might think differently if I was making big money off my whining and complaining.

1) God Must Hate Me – Simple Plan: When a band sings the lyrics “God must hate me, he cursed me for eternity,” all I have to say is that yes, He does. He hates you. And your music. Just don’t wonder why because, when you sing this type of music, it must be painstakingly obvious.

 

 

 


Tags: , , ,
Categories: Blogs, Rant 'N Rave


  • P

    Agree wholeheartedly.

  • Lou-Anne

    I agree with some, however I do not with others. Simple Plan is a great band, have you heard all the charity work they’ve done? Listen to their new stuff, lots of improvement from older stuff. When that old stuff came out they were no more than 20 can’t blame them for being whiney.

  • froggy

    well, u got some good points partly. but on the other hands some of your arguments are kind of ridiculous.
    for example, that god must hate me/welcome to my life song. these songs are way old so that band probably had no idea they were going to be super successful (and probably rich).
    so maybe back then, way before they even had a record deal and everything their life sucked? and even if it was just a week out of their life which sucked – theres nothing wrong in writing a song about how crappy you felt at some certain point in your life, right?
    i guess u dont know anyone of that band so you dont know what time they went through SOME time earlier in their lives. maybe they once felt that crappy and desperate?

    and even if they didn’t, its also possible that they wrote those songs for teenager who do feel this way sometimes. ’cause even if their live is perfectly fine they know about kids who aren’t that lucky, having a hard time growing up, etc…
    and exactly those kids will be pleased of these kind of lyrics.

    so i don’t really get whats wrong in writing a song from the point of view of some desperate teenagers, when it might help them to feel understood or whatever,..??

  • Hayley

    Good god, who cares?!
    If you don’t like the songs just don’t listen to them, there’s no need to waste time writing about how much you hate them.

    You have your own music taste, doesn’t mean it’s everyone elses.
    Perhaps you don’t like these type of songs, but for many it can be seen as a ‘release’ so stop complaining about things *you* don’t like.

    And, god, you call the songs whiney. Sort of describing yourself there?

  • Erica

    I agree with you. Simple Plan ALWAYS seems to complain about one thing or another and Haley, it’s hard NOT to listen to their crap when the radio stations constantly find a need to play it.

    Also (reply to Hayley) I think the author has a right to “complain” about whatever she wants considering the name of her blog is RANT and Rave. Also it’s a optionated blog. So once again, she can write about whatever. Take your own advice. If YOU don’t like it, don’t read it. And she isn’t whining either. She’s merely making a point about how these artists, one way or another, complain about the life that many of them have chosen. That’s all.

  • Hayley

    Ever heard of changing a radio station when a song comes on?
    It really does help, it’s almost like magic!

    Of course she has a right, everyone does. I’m using MY RIGHT to complain about her, yes?
    I didn’t ask for your opinion on what you think, i’m merely putting down my own opinion.

    This is an opinionated comment. So once again, I can write about whatever. Take YOUR own advice. If YOU don’t like it, don’t read it.

    Have a lovely day!

  • http://www.calmbanana.co.uk/ Rachael

    In Simple Plan’s defence, their whiny self-pitying lyrics make them a big hit with their fans. The band’s music is what a hell of a lot of teens can relate to. If it helps them feel less isolated and maybe even gives them hope that life is going to be okay in the end, I don’t see the harm in the self-pitying lyrics.

    The two songs you’ve quoted are from way back in Simple Plan’s back catalogue. Listen to some of their newer stuff – it’s far less self-pitying and far more ‘OMG I’M IN LOOOOOOVE.’

  • Suzie

    It would appear that you opened up a can of whoop-ass! when you display this kind of narrow minded bullcrap on songs that you think are whiny, i mean ; my god! is it suddenly a sin/crime to write about life’s misfortunes?the last time i checked; freedom of expression was still a right every human has regardless of social or economic standing. The idea that you think they have nothing to complain about just because they’re famous and have more money than you ,shows just how naive you are.

    Now before *my* rant ‘n rave is over and i hand you back your ass ; think for one second “what is the point of music?”

    To express yourself.

  • Patricia

    OMG WHO CARES! SP are not even catholic. they’re buddhists! so who cares if they wrote a song called God Must Hate Me! in fact, i find that song funny with the lyrics. and Welcome To My Life is a song they made to help the troubled kids to chill and relax. they once said it. Many teenagers sent them letters and stuff saying how much they hate their lives, and so SP wrote that song. My friend, who usually has problems with her parents, she listens to that song always and she always feels better.

    Simple Plan is an AWESOME band. I know and love all of their songs. I love them. They’re really funny guys, and they’re the only band i know who actually cares a lot about their fans. They make vlogs and stuff really often ? and they’ve done more than that. just can’t be bothered to type everything in. I didn’t like music before until i started listening to SP and now i can’t live without music. i need to take my ipod everywhere i go.

    Although i agree with number 5)Rumours by Lindsay Lohan. I dislike her coz she makes too much rumours about herself.

    BUT DON’T U DARE MAKE FUN OR BITCH ABOUT SP EVER AGAIN!

  • Patricia

    OMG WHO CARES! SP are not even catholic. they’re buddhists! so who cares if they wrote a song called God Must Hate Me! in fact, i find that song funny with the lyrics. and Welcome To My Life is a song they made to help the troubled kids to chill and relax. they once said it. Many teenagers sent them letters and stuff saying how much they hate their lives, and so SP wrote that song. My friend, who usually has problems with her parents, she listens to that song always and she always feels better.

    Simple Plan is an AWESOME band. I know and love all of their songs. I love them. They’re really funny guys, and they’re the only band i know who actually cares a lot about their fans. They make vlogs and stuff really often ? and they’ve done more than that. just can’t be bothered to type everything in. I didn’t like music before until i started listening to SP and now i can’t live without music. i need to take my ipod everywhere i go.

    Although i agree with number 5)Rumours by Lindsay Lohan. I dislike her coz she makes too much rumours about herself.

    BUT DON’T U DARE MAKE FUN OR BITCH ABOUT SP EVER AGAIN!

  • Patricia

    OMG WHO CARES! SP are not even catholic. they’re buddhists! so who cares if they wrote a song called God Must Hate Me! in fact, i find that song funny with the lyrics. and Welcome To My Life is a song they made to help the troubled kids to chill and relax. they once said it. Many teenagers sent them letters and stuff saying how much they hate their lives, and so SP wrote that song. My friend, who usually has problems with her parents, she listens to that song always and she always feels better.

    Simple Plan is an AWESOME band. I know and love all of their songs. I love them. They’re really funny guys, and they’re the only band i know who actually cares a lot about their fans. They make vlogs and stuff really often ? and they’ve done more than that. just can’t be bothered to type everything in. I didn’t like music before until i started listening to SP and now i can’t live without music. i need to take my ipod everywhere i go.

    Although i agree with number 5)Rumours by Lindsay Lohan. I dislike her coz she makes too much rumours about herself.

    BUT DON’T U DARE MAKE FUN OR BITCH ABOUT SP EVER AGAIN!

  • Patricia

    btw, Pierre of SP once said, that just because they’re famous, doesn’t mean that they’re rich. One of them even said that they were broke lol. seriously, they only care about their fans and their music. they don’t care when people hate them, as long as they can stay writing and making music forever. HA BEAT THATT

  • Michael A

    You guys are all so pathetically funny. Wow. Let her rant about Simple Plan’s poor choice of lyrics. They aren’t that good–EVEN THEIR NEW MUSIC. There are different ways to “complain” about your life through music and Simple Plan just knows how to overdo it.

    You need to all grow up.

    HA BEAT THAT.

  • Suzie

    Oh No Michael!! our feelings have been hurt,here i was; thinking EVERYONE just adored Simple Plan…that they are **THE BEST EVER** musicians to ever walk the earth,God forbid that some people don’t like them!

    Hows that for funny?

    Seriously though.

    Tell me Mr smart-ass what are these “different ways to “complain”" through music huh? y’know..apart from using your voice …and using instruments…words..stuff that generaly constitutes what music is..
    Before you answer that; may i direct you to read the comments again on other things SP has done,to avoid regurgitating something someone has already said.

    P.s im not bitchy i just have an opinion.

  • Elle

    lol
    I’m all about free expression. And everyone’s entitled to their opinion and certainly their taste in music.

    However, as a musician myself, I will have to agree with you with Simple Plan producing some of the most bubblegum crap out there. Forget about their lyrics… they’re ridiculously mediocre and I seriously wish someone would teach them a thing or two about bringing finesse and genius to their musical composition.
    But I guess there is a market for their music. They get the job done.

    and in their defence.. they are improving. I don’t remember the name, but I heard a catchy one of theirs lately.

    Anyways, good rant. Though I wouldn’t go so far as to put Britney Spears in the same category as Simple plan. She may have as ridiculous lyrics, but at least her producers know how to orchestrate one radio hit after another.

  • Elle

    ps. who the hell cares about the type of person they are and the charities they’ve donated to?
    she’s assessing the quality of their music, not their sainthood.

  • Robert

    I think that, one by one, Hayley, Suzie and Ali should enter rehab.

    Patricia – Do you have some need to post the same comment three times? really?

    Suzie- you don’t have an opinion, you are just bitchy

    Ali- I think you are the one that needs to stop WRITING. You can’t even spell. Go back into your mother’s womb – which I’m pretty sure you just climbed out of two hours ago. Really child, grow up.

  • Robert

    Sorry Hayley, I didn’t mean you! I was referring to Patricia.

  • Hayley

    God, who even cares anymore?
    I like Simple Plan, some of them ^ ^ like Simple Plan.
    Writer doesn’t.
    Some of them ^ ^ don’t.

    Each to their owm music tastes and opinions.

  • Suzie

    Y’know what Robert i think i will go to rehab…maybe they have anti-bitch medication i can take but till then you’ll just have you get down off that cross,use the wood to build a bridge and GET OVER IT.

  • Suzie

    100% agree with you Hayley, I’m not gunna reply anymore i have said what i think.

    End of.

  • aLi

    OH yeahhhh Mr.Robert “the ripe guy”
    if you are so ripe i don’t understand why you are here
    fighting as a girl :O
    my god..

    I was not talking about you
    so… shut your moth please!

    And maybe i can’t spell english very well beacause i’m spanish but whatever
    SHE understands me and that’s it ;)

    Joder que tio tan mas molesto!!!!!!!

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