I feel bad for Eddie Murphy. He got trapped and tricked into having sex with Spice Girl Mel B. Then she got pregnant. He denied the baby was his; claiming Scary Spice was a tramp. Then DNA proved the baby was his. Now he’s a deadbeat dad. Really, I feel SO bad for Eddie A-hole Murphy.

It must be hard to have the title as a shiteous and deadbeat father who cares about no one but himself. Really. I feel your pain jackass.

But if you feel a bit confused, then let’s rewind just a tad. A-hole Murphy dated Mel B. THEY had sex. No wait. She SOMEHOW used her Spice Girls super powers to seduce him. A-hole Murphy then claimed that Mel insisted she was on birth control. He also claimed they only had sex THREE times.

Now, this is where I don’t quite get the joke. Does A-hole Murphy really think that just because he and Mel supposedly got down and dirty almost as many times as Britney said “I do” that somehow, along the way, the baby she bore is not his? Or it because he thinks she’s a cheater—just to cover-up the fact that he’s an ass? I assume it’s not the latter. That being said, where the heck was this guy in sex-ed class? The best part about his character is that he’s charming and sweet. When Mel was still pregnant with his kid, A-hole Murphy told a Dutch TV show: “I don’t know whose child that is until it comes out and has a blood test.” Such sweet words from a caring father.

Now for all you (fools) who support and wish to defend this guy, I will give him the slightest benefit of a doubt. A-hole Murphy MAY just have had the right to question his paternity, but there was no need to make an ass out of himself (although I’m sure it took no effort). He could’ve waited until AFTER the baby was born to bluntly question his paternity and privately test the baby’s DNA. Too bad for Nutty. He opened his mouth too soon and was proven wrong. He was the baby’s papa.

To top it off, a few days ago, this no-good barely funny actor says that he wants nothing to do with his now two-year-old daughter Angel Iris. According to OK! Magazine, a “friend” of A-hole Murphy’s says the actor doesn’t want to see his daughter because doing so would mean he would have to consequently also see the mother.

Wow.

Now he’s a keeper.

Want to make a comment? Have something you want me to Rant ‘N Rave about? Send your e-mails to iogrodni@gmail.com






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