There are definitely a lot of pre-game rituals for contestants on “American Idol”. Some people rehearse their song. Some pray. Others, down three shots of Tequila at the hotel bar.

But luckily for Nikki McKibbin, the judges couldn’t smell the alcohol, while she fulfilled her dream of singing stardom.

Unfortunately, that little pre-audition drinking experience, was the beginning of a confusing road, which eventually would land the now-30-year-old Dallas native in a psych ward and on the upcoming second season of “Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew.”

According to MTV News, the former top three American Idol contestant, said that the harsh criticism that she faced from the infamous, self-esteem demoting judge, Simon Cowell, helped unleash a dangerous spiral of self-doubt. This led to years of drug and alcohol abuse that she’s recently trying to climb out of.

McKibbin said that she hit rock bottom last August, when she began doing cocaine and drinking alcohol, following her mother’s death of prescription-drug overdose.

“The worst time for me was when my mom died,” McKibbin told MTV News, sounding on the verge of tears over the phone from her Dallas home. “I didn’t have any control over myself at all, and I drank for nine months nonstop.”

With a ticking time bomb of addiction in her DNA, McKibbin said the spark that led to her downfall began with Cowell’s withering comments about her singing. “For me, I had never been told I wasn’t good,” she said. “I’m by no means blaming him. I’m an addict, and if you tell an addict they’re no good, it triggers you and makes you think you’re worthless and useless and no good at the only thing you ever wanted to do your whole life.”

“I still have urges every day,” she said. “I just have to learn to deal with them, and all I hope is that if someone sees my story, they’ll be inspired to go out and get some help.”


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