TRASHY VS. SEXY

Note to Hollywood: trashy is not sexy.

It seems like a simple concept, no? And yet, Megan Fox is on this month’s cover of GQ looking trash-tastic and not sexy. Meghan Fox is hot. Yes. No argument there. But sexy, she is not. Okay, maybe sometimes. Hey, disagree with me all you want but Megan Fox embodies all that is wrong with the girls of this generation. The girls who have grown up with Bratz dolls (trashy) and whose role models are the Pussy Cat Dolls (super trashy). These girls look to Megan Fox to define what it means to be sexy.

But, as usual, I digress. In the midst of this cultural misunderstanding of sexiness, Esquire magazine went against the recent trashy trend and pegged Halle Berry as this year’s Sexiest Woman Alive. Holler.

Halle Berry is sexy. Hands down. Aside from Catwoman- let’s pretend Halle never tainted her movie repertoire with that cinematic atrocity- her talent and beauty have propelled her onto the A-list and into that illustrious list of actresses who’ve managed to combine class and sex appeal.

Grace Kelly. Audrey Hepburn. Julia Roberts. Charlize Theron. Halle Berry.

Granted, not all of the above women have posed provocatively on magazine covers or partaken in many nude (or semi-nude) scenes. Granted, Halle is posing in barely-there tank tops and her underwear in the photo spread in Esquire. But for some reason, Halle in minimal clothing is not trashy. It’s sexy.

Knowing when to take your clothes off is sexy. Confidence is sexy. Talent is sexy. Self-actualization is sexy.

Girlfriend’s got that all down. She even managed to grab this coveted title just six months after giving birth — to, like, the most beautiful baby of all time, I might add.

So here’s what, in her OWN words, the world’s sexiest lady has to say about being sexy:

“Sexy is not about wearing sexy clothes or shaking your booty until you damn near get hip dysplasia; it’s about knowing that sexiness is a state of mind — a comfortable state of being. It’s about loving yourself even in your most unlovable moments.”

You tell ‘em, Halle. Note: Penning her own cover article in Esquire is totally sexy- even if she got mad help from writer Tom Chiarella.

So what does Ms Berry think is sexy? Forearms, finger fed-spaghetti, sloe gin fizz and her man’s car.

Megan Fox, are you taking notes? Sucking an ice cube in your bikini, talking about cupping your man’s dick in public and sharing details about your lesbian fling with a stripper is NOT SEXY. It’s trashy, trashy, trashy.

I wonder if Megan will ever transition from trashy one-movie wonder to sexy screen goddess like that actress she’s being constantly compared to: Angelina Jolie- the one and only. Remember when Angie was brash, dating Billy Bob and bordering on trashy?

I think Megan could possibly have it in her. But only- and this is the key to separating trashy from sexy- if she’s got enough going on up there (in the brain area people). Can her mental capacity match her physical hotness?

We’ll just have to wait and see.

Halle says it best: “It’s about what you know as much as it is what you offer.”

So here’s what I will say to the young ladies of Generation Y. If you MUST, and only if you must, look to Hollywood for role models or for barometers of acceptable sexiness- here’s a short guide.

Angelina on the cover of W sweetly smiling into the camera while breastfeeding her newborn twins. Sexy.

Those leaked photos of Miley Cyrus in a wet tank top puckering her lips to the camera. Trashy.

Scarlett Johansson fully clothed on the cover of Cosmo Girl being outspoken about her political beliefs. Sexy

Fergie. Trashy.

Natalie Portman. Sexy.

You got it? Good. Now, leave the booty-shaking behind, arm yourself with confidence and intelligence and my friends, SEXY, you shall be.






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