This week’s episode of The Office is all about ethics, which, if the past is any indication, is a concept with which the employees of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton are not at all familiar. Especially THIS GUY.

The episode opens with Jim Halpert revealing to his co-workers that he and girlfriend Pam Beasley are engaged. Jim thinks they’re going to make a big deal out of it but they are less than enthused. Michael, on the other hand, is ecstatic, and upon learning the news he tackles Jim to the floor in a flying hug. And as someone who has recently been on the receiving end of the hug-tackle, I can confidently say that it is not an enjoyable experience. Sorry Jim, shake it off.

It seems that today is “Ethics Day” at the Scranton branch, which involves Holly the new HR rep running her first meeting. Michael’s influence is clearly felt when he and Holly open the meeting with an eighties aerobics-themed performance of the song “Let’s Get Physical”, with every instance of the word “physical” replaced with “ethical”. Holly falters when she begins reading from a binder, and Michael pulls her aside saying that people expect a lot from these meeting and that she has to “be both Robin Williams and M. Night Shyamalan…you have to be Robin Shyamalan”.

Michael quickly takes over the meeting and opens the floor up to his employees to confess their unethical workplace behaviour. In this “immunity” portion of the meeting, Meredith reveals that she has been sleeping with a supplier for 6 years in exchange for discounts on paper and Outback Steakhouse coupons. Classy. Or, in the words of Jim Halpert: “Jackpot”.

During the “immunity” portion of the meeting, Dwight also makes a claim: that he has never stolen anything from the company, including its time (Michael: “you are a thief of joy”). Throughout the episode Jim decides to test this claim by using a stopwatch to track all of Dwight’s “personal time” which includes yawning (4 seconds) and personal conversation (AKA arguing with Jim-17 seconds).

After various efforts to distract Dwight (including a conversation with Andy which likens the plot and characters of Battlestar Galactica to pretty much every science fiction/fantasy movie ever created), Jim is amazed that Dwight has not stopped working for a second (he even sneezed with his eyes open and peed in an open soda bottle). Dwight only slips up when he disappears for 19 minutes and 48 seconds with no explanation except a glance at Angela and a pedophile rapist-esque leer into the camera. Understandably, Jim lets this one slide.

Meanwhile, Michael suggests to Holly that they “bang out” the Meredith problem over lunch. Probably a poor choice of words but also probably part of his attempt to “merge [their] friendship into a relationship.” When Holly claims that Meredith’s behaviour is unethical “and a little bit icky”, Michael suggests they punish her by not allowing her to have sex for 6 months. This, of course, leads to a Michael Scott style awkward and lengthy explanation of a chastity belt. Cut to Holly scanning the room for the nearest exit.

While Holly concludes that the only solution is to terminate Meredith, Kendall from Corporate HR has a different opinion. He calls the Scranton branch and lays the blame on Holly, claiming that her job was simply to get signatures from the employees verifying that they attended the ethics seminar. He calls the Meredith situation a “grey area”, mostly since he thinks the company could use the discount she’s getting. Apparently the economic turmoil in the US is affecting Dunder-Mifflin as well. That Kendall sure sounds like a standup guy.

In the end, Holly runs the meeting reading from her binder as planned, and Michael restrains himself from intervening.

The moral of the story this week, kids? In these tough financial times, sleeping your way to a discount on paper and a free steak is entirely acceptable.






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