Here’s the bad news: “Pineapple Express” was bad.

The good news is that I went in with extremely high expectations, and was not under the influence of any of the green stuff that is talked about so much in the film. So maybe after reading this, and if you’re into that kind of lifestyle, it will be a better experience for you.

The first half hour of the film, which sets up the characters and their lives, is amusing enough. It’s very promising, actually. You’re led to believe that it’s building up to a very funny sequence of events. But suddenly, when that sequence begins, the laughs die off like a burned out stoner.

Seth Rogen’s Dale is stuck in a dead end job serving legal papers. To make his day more enjoyable, Dale smokes weed all day long, which he acquires from his dealer, Saul (James Franco). Saul is a typical burn out who also has a severe lack of friends, so he clings to Dale, making him uncomfortable. When Dale accidentally witnesses a murder and drives off, leaving the rare marijuana he bought from Saul at the scene, the two are forced to run for their lives from a drug lord and his lackeys.

Rogen and life-long friend Evan Goldberg co-wrote the script, and it was quite apparent that they were trying to re-create their “Superbad” success by writing essentially the same story with older characters. There’s the bromance, the annoying character who keeps showing up, the hot girl who can’t act to save her life (actually, scratch that – the “Superbad” girls are miles ahead of Amber Heard) – even the heroic shot where the chubby friend carries the skinny unconscious friend to safety. Not to mention all of the actors who played minor roles in “Superbad” who come back to play exactly the same characters.

If I were to try to sell this movie to an audience, I would sell it as an action movie. I must admit that the action sequences are very solid, especially the climactic battle. It was also pleasing to see the big screen “Freaks and Geeks” reunion of Rogen and Franco. But as a comedy, it’s really just a series of failed jokes. The dialogue is so void of intelligence that it wasn’t even funny in a random way. And Rogen’s character’s relationship with an 18-year-old who is still in high school doesn’t ever seem to have a point.

In the end, I think that where “Pineapple Express” really fails is that it never makes the audience care. In “Superbad,” their only quest was to get alcohol to a party so they could hook up with the girls they had crushes on, and I was completely involved in the story. I was nervous for them, I was on the edge of my seat, and I truly just wanted them to succeed. In “Pineapple Express,” the stakes are much higher – the boys are in real danger of being killed – but I could not care less.

The final scene of the movie is actually wonderfully written, but the film has lost so much momentum by that time that it’s beyond saving. If Rogen and Goldberg had just stuck to what they know – being schleppy, smart ass losers – instead of dreaming of some ridiculous murder plot, they would have had a great movie. Regardless, I can’t wait to see what they come up with next.






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