The anticipated new episode of the third season finally arrived. I hoped the episode would be a bit better than the sad response to Lauren Conrad’s fashion show. And so it was! The juice, the drama, and some creepy French men really took this season to a whole new level. Not to mention the awesome ball gowns and jewelry. If Whitney wants to quit Teen Vogue, can I have her old job?

Subscribe to our Hills podcast!

The episode starts off with Whitney’s and LC’s trip to la ville de l’amour, Paris, for the Crillon Ball. As they get off the plane, their own private chauffeur hands them their itinerary. First option: pick up their gowns for the ball at Alberta Ferretti or pick up shoes for the debutants modeling at the ball. Selfish or selfless? Whitney and LC opt for the dresses, but karma has their way with them and they are too late to pick up the shoes. “I guess we should have picked up the shoes first. I think I’m going to throw up,” Whitney remarks.

But everything does work out for the girls and the next morning, with shoes in hand, they show up at the Crillon Ball Photoshoot. Kimball, the Lisa Love wannabe of Paris, delegates to Whitney and LC. Their glamorous jobs include helping write down everything he says (Whitney) and helping with Models (LC).

All of this isn’t too interesting so of course drama must soon follow. Audrina calls and notifies LC that Brody has a girlfriend. Audrina may not seem like the brightest bulb in the bunch but I decided to give her a break this season. But you don’t call your best friend to tell her the guy she wants has a new gf! “Lets ruin my best friend’s trip to Paris”?! If LC needs a new roommate to look out for her, I’d be more than happy to join the Hills cast.

Did LC regret her decision to go to Paris? If she had stayed, would Brodie have been just another Jason? Oh the suspense of reality TV! But Lauren has more men to deal with: Matthias, the creepy dude from the French band. The band somehow knew Audrina and LC thought it was “nice to know someone in Paris.” So Whitney and her decide to meet up with them for drinks. Didn’t they learn from the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus incident NOT to drink on the job, but Paris makes even Whitney loosen up. They head over to the Eiffel tower, stand in the center and drink champagne.

Next night they all go to a club: Neo. LC doesn’t seem to be missing Brody much when she is surrounded at all sides, on the right Matthias, on the left, Edward, an escort at the ball. Edward was just as weird as Matthias was disturbing. What’s with these French men? Shouldn’t reality TV instill in us a belief in love and romance? If I went to Paris and I had to choose between one of them as my romantic counterparts? Non merci. I was rooting for LC when she kissed Matthias on both cheeks after he repeatedly asked her for a kiss. Just cause she’s American, it doesn’t make her a hoe French man.

Finally, le Bal de Crillon! Lauren ruins her first dress and since she’s famous, gets a second loaned to her that’s even more amazing than the first. The episode tries to put in suspense as LC supposedly only has “15min” to pick up the dress. The dresses of the debutants are just as amazing as her’s. Why couldn’t LC include these gowns in her own fashion line? At the ball, LC and Whitney look on with happy smiles, that is until Kimball has a career talk with Whitney. Cold. Unsmiling. He’s worse than Lisa Love! He forces Whitney to rethink her place at Teen Vogue, and not in an inspirational way. LC doesn’t stay to help a sista out. Instead, she goes out with Matthias when he calls to show her around Paris on her last night. Why work? When in Paris do like the Parisians! Of course going out on a stalker’s vespa all night doesn’t seem like the safest thing in my mind. And boy are his eye’s creepy. I swear if there wasn’t a film crew following them around, there is no way LC would’ve gotten on the back of his bike.

Now to the other juice.. SPEIDI!

Will they break up? Will they stay together? Will Spencer finally shave off his scruff?

I personally think Heidi should stay in Colorado and become a pro-skier but what would the Hills be without these two? Spencer makes a bold gesture, swallows his pride and flies down to apologize to the love of his life. And Heidi completely spazzes out about it. I mean I can’t stand Spencer but I actually felt sorry for him here. How can you get mad at your boyfriend for flying out to see you? Heidi was the ice queen. No smiles, all sarcasm. When did Heidi learn to be sarcastic? She was more Spencer in this episode than Spencer himself. They go out for dinner with her parents and she makes a toast to their love and support and what does she have to say about Spencer? Absolutely nothing. She just keeps asking him when he’s going to leave back to LA. And poor Spencer probably thought he was getting some.

Well at the end of this episode, both Spencer and Matthias got nothing. LC and Heidi stood up for women everywhere. The moral of the episode: say no to scary Frenchmen and men with bad facial hair.






Related Stories: