So I promised myself I’d have a Britney-free February. But what Britney has been up to is just too ‘effin weird not to discuss.

After some serious, and literal, over-exposure since her split from K-Fed (could he really have been good for her?), I, along with many fans, have gotten more than a little tired of her antics. The parties with Paris. The coochie shots. The random flings. The M.I.A. kiddies. Then, this past weekend, Britney hit a new, disturbing low that I’m pretty sure few people, let alone celebs, have hit before.

The National Enquirer said Britney tried to commit suicide twice this past weekend – once by walking into traffic and once by overdosing on Xanax. The Enquirer says the suicide attempts and the now infamous shaving of the head, were brought on by a confrontation from Federline. He is apparently threatening to take custody of their two invisible children by proving Britney is drugged up. I don’t think that’s anything new, Fed-Ex. After Brit went pantyless, partied with Paris, went bald and then got inked twice in one night that girl isn’t in a mothering state of mind. But I think what we all really should be wondering is where is her mother? Girl is crazy and in obvious need of real help.

Britney tried the rehab route, a la Hohan, but checked out after 24 hours at Promises in Malibu. Who knows what she’s up to at this moment, but there is talk her two homes are up for sale. She probably don’t need the dough, so could Britney be looking to duck out of the spotlight for awhile? Considering we’ve heard her claim she was doing that before with no evident results of it actually happening, I’m doubting this time would be any different.

Anyway, in news relating to “normal” celebs…

Apparently American Idol stars/occasional lovers Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell had a little spat on Tuesday’s show. How this is new, when they are so obviously in love, is beyond me. Cowell apparently called Seacrest “sweetheart” to which Seacrest took great offense as Cowell knows he should only use such terms during private time. In other A.I. news, Access Hollywood is reporting past winner Fantasia is lined up to guest sing this season, which makes sense as she isn’t achieving fame on her own, why not go back to the Idol teat? Superstars Jennifer Lopez and Gwen Stefani are also going to make appearances, for reasons unknown.

Peen Wentz, who makes my head spin with sheer emo-poser angst, appeared half-nekked on Rolling Stone. The rest of the guys in that “Sugar, We’re Going Down” band are hidden behind his moobs somewhere.

There is a Buddha! Desperate Housewives will end after seven seasons. Mark Cherry has a soul after all.

Is Kim Kardashian the only person whom a sex tape hasn’t made famous? Seriously – who is she and who cares that she’s suing over it? Unless I’m downloading it, it’s not Pammy and Tommy quality. It ain’t even One Night in Paris quality.

And Buddha strikes again! The creators of Sex and the City are giving me the greatest pleasure I’ve ever known by saying a Sex movie will actually be produced. It’s been reported that all four ladies – Kim, Sarah Jessica, Cynthia and Kristin – have finally signed a contract to make the much talked about, but always delayed flick. I guess Kim finally unbunched her panties and decided to put the fact that Sarah Jessica makes more aside. The writers of the show have signed on for the big screen adaption, so get ready for some amazing Sex.

And, speaking of sex, here is Christian Bale looking mighty delicious in this month’s GQ.






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