Consider this week?s fashion installment as a way for me to live out this year?s Halloween fantasies (dressing up, bobbing for apples, setting fire to my neighbour?s yard) because I have a midterm on Old Hollow?s Eve and have to work afterwards (not even Freddy Kruger could come up with a worse nightmare).

Anyways, most of my friends are currently frantically running around the city rummaging through costume and thrift shops putting together their outfits. I?m not big on spending money on something where you?d wear it once and then store it at the back of your closet so here are some inexpensive (and free) Halloween costume ideas:

Funeral Director/Butcher/Patrick Bateman from ?American Psycho?
Male costume consists of:
- Black blazer (optional)
- Black dress pants
- Shiny black dress shoes
- White dress shirt
- Tie (preferably black)
- White apron
- Prop knife
- Fake blood

This is a great concept if you?re attending a dressier party and the host would rather not see you dressed as a giant banana. Besides, women love to see a guy in a suit (even if the guy is brandishing a fake knife and covered in blood). Smear the fake blood on the apron, knife, hands and face so that you?ll get the gory effect without risking your Sunday best. Remember to slick your hair back with lots of gel to get that polished yet sweaty, ?I just went on a murder spree? look.

The American Teen
Male costume consists of:
- Polo shirt (bonus points if it?s pink and has an American Eagle logo)
- Cargo shorts
- Flip flops
- Trucker hat (bonus if it?s John Deere)
- LIVESTRONG bracelet
- White seashell/hemp necklace

Female costume consists of:
- Baby vintage t-shirt with double entendre slogan in bold
- Stretch mini skirt with lots of frills
- Flip flops or Ugg boots
- Tiny purse
- Trucker hat (bonus if it?s Von Dutch)

A friend once asked if it was alright if he wore my clothes to a costume party. Treating my everyday clothes as a Halloween costume? Of course I?m not offended (after telling him to fornicate himself). So only go through with this costume if you know for sure that none of your friends or party guests dress like this in real life. Guys, if you have short hair, spike it up until you can puncture a hole in your trucker hat. If you have longer hair, take a blow-dryer to get that feathered effect (think Farrah Fawcett). Girls, tie your hair back into a ponytail. Remember, this costume is for ironic purposes so if you dress like this in real life?you need help.

Prep school student
Male costume consists of:
- Light khaki pants
- White button up shirt
- V-neck sweater or sweater vest
- White sneakers
- Textbooks (preferably math or science)

Female costume consists of:
- Short pleated skirt (preferably plaid or dark coloured)
- Button up dress shirt
- V-neck sweater or sweater vest
- Knee-high white socks
- White sneakers or penny loafers
- Textbooks (preferably math or science)

Girls, avoid leaving the shirt half unbuttoned, revealing your red lace bra or wearing garters under the skirt; the slutty school girl look is over. This is a cute costume intended to make you look bookish with that certain nerdy charm that people love.

That being said, a costume doesn?t necessarily have to be scary or a pop culture reference, it can be something that you wouldn?t normally wear. If you?re always wearing jeans and t-shirts, put on that suit or dress to surprise your friends (and turn a few heads along the way). If you?re usually ?preppy? then break out the tight jeans, studded belt, Sex Pistols t-shirt and a little eyeliner to rock the party. Just remember that if you?re going to ask your friends for their clothes to complete your outfit, tell them that the reason behind your costume is to experience what it?ll be like to be someone else for the evening. Do not say something to the extent of, ?Can I borrow that shirt because it?s the most hideous thing I?ve ever saw and my friends would get a good laugh.?

So enjoy celebrating the day of the dead while I?ll be folding the wall of the boot cut jeans. The horror?






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