Ah, fall. My new favourite time of year. It became my new favourite season last week. I was at work, toiling in the fitting rooms, working my fingers to the bone trying to get all the buttons and bows just right, guzzling water and smiling politely at the group of women who openly mocked the gaucho pants (tasteless hyenas) all the while sweating like a pig. It hit me in the face like a blast of recycled air: I am sick of summer. It’s not that I don’t love the sun — I spend most of this past March nearly insane from too much snow — but I have had my warm weather and it is now time for a little nip in the air. I’m not asking for much, just a cool breeze and some colourful leaves. And oh, of course, some deliciously cozy sweaters to snuggle up in.

Ah, fall clothes. My favourite clothes of the year. I’m done with the tee shirts and so over the denim skirts, although parting with my new sandals will be hard. Nevertheless, I am more than willing to make the ultimate shoe sacrifice and trade my strappy silver flats for some eggplant purple Chuck Taylors.

In case it hasn’t yet occurred to you, fall always has some of the greatest clothes to offer, and this season has some of the best colours and styles a girl could wish for. These colours and styles offer many outfit options, all suitable for the many fall events your social calendar is sure to be crammed with. In chronological order:

1. The “Everyone Is Going Back To Their Separate Universities and We’ll Miss You So Much Call Me Every Day” Dinner

Your last chance to prove another year of university behind you has made you more fashionably evolved than everyone else. Since the first week of September will host this event, and the first week can still be pretty toasty, why not break out that denim skirt one last time? This time, pair it with shoes instead of sandals ? I always think Vans go well with short denim skirts. Top it off with a simple shirt, a white tank top maybe, and a nice pullover fleece in a warm colour like a navy blue.

2. First Day Back At School

This is tricky, because it’s not like back in middle school where everyone would see you on the first day. What you really need are five “I’m not trying, I just happen to exude smartbutsexy fashion sense” outfits. However, I do not have time to give you five outfits for just one event, you can do that on your own time. I’ll just give you the basic idea. For bottoms, pick your absolute favourite pair of ripped worn in jeans or comfy-but-could-be-classy black sweatpants and any casual shoes you like. Sandals, sneakers, it’s all good. For tops, it’s all about layering. Choose a colourful tank top, like pink or green, and wear it under a thin grey, white, black, brown tee shirt ? whatever you like. The key is plain, because when it comes to fashion, no one likes an overachiever. Top off the look with one ? one! ? cute bracelets or moderately dangly earrings, but not both. Please don’t put pencils in your hair or carry a binder pressed up against your chest, you are not the new nerdy girl from ‘Saved By The Bell’.

3. Homecoming

Here in Canada, we’re not really about the high school football thing. This is just an excuse for us to get drunk with our high school friends at some house party like when we were sixteen and snigger over the unfortunate soul whose gained weight (oh, you do it too.). It is also the time to show everyone how in the past month or so, your fashion sense has gotten even better than that dinner! A pair of dark, slightly fancy jeans paired with a beat up pair of sneakers show off you are casual yet still making a small effort. A white or black long sleeved henley is sleek, and here’s your opportunity to pile on the bangles. Various sizes, shapes, colours ? it’s all good. My favourites are $4.99 at Claire’s and are appropriately bright and tacky. If bangles aren’t your thing, other good accessories are big necklaces. Oversized wooden or colourful beads are hip with the kids these days.

4. Halloween

Don’t be like every other clich?d bastard and whip out something orange and black. Keep the black for pants and pair it with a big purple sweater or long sleeved tee shirts. Purple is one of the best shades for fall, or at least it’s my favourite, and right now everyone is carrying that perfect shade of grape purple. And didn’t you always associate purple with witches as a kid? It’s sort of related. Anyways, it’s a good colour. Find something tacky to wear with it, like skull bobby pins or a spider brooch or maybe even some candy cane earrings just to be ironic.

5. The Fall Wedding

My cousin got married in the fall two years ago and everyone ? including me ? was wearing black, brown, beige or any other neutral colour we could find. I mean, we looked good, but fall doesn’t mean you have to hide all your colours away. Try a sky blue or forest green or cranberry red, anything to set you apart but still season appropriate.

Well, there you have it. All the major fall events and now you have outfits for all of them. You can thank me by knitting me a scarf for when it does get colder ? remember, I like purple.






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