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Literature Column: Boys Will Put You on a Pedestal (So They Can Look Up Your Skirt): A Dad’s Advice for Daughters

Posted by andPOP Staff on July 2nd, 2005

Skirts are really in this summer. All kinds of them. Those fluttery, gypsy-looking skirts that go down to your ankles. Those knee-level A-line skirts that make you look sophisticated and stylish at the same time. And — every dad’s last choice of attire for their teenage daughter — those damn mini-skirts that are so short that bending over may mean exposing a little too much of that derriere you’ve been trying so hard to keep small and round by snacking on carrots as opposed to Snickers. Welcome to the world of teenage girldom fun, but extremely exhausting.

Imagine this. You’re upstairs getting ready for a day at the mall with the girls. You apply your make-up, from eye shadow to lip gloss (some light purple powder and sparkling cherry spread), have your outfit all picked out (a simple light blue tank top and a denim skirt that flows over your thighs in a flattering manner), and just when you’re making your way down the stairs, thinking you’re ready to hit the stores and enjoy the sales, out comes your Pops from the kitchen. Bowl in hand, he’s stirring the muffin batter furiously, glaring at you, doing a from-top-to-bottom look-over of you and utters those dreaded words: “You’re not wearing that!” You roll your eyes, heave a sigh, retrace your steps and it’s back to the closet for you. But cut him some slack — he’s just looking out for you. After all, you wouldn’t feel comfortable having a bunch of strange guys looking up your skirt while you’re laughing and talking with your gal pals on an escalator. Yuck! (And Daddy dearest definitely wouldn’t like it, either).

So yes, it’s tough to be a teenage girl. How can you look stylish when your dad won’t let you wear that amazingly chic outfit they’re selling at Costa Blanca that looks exactly like the one Paris Hilton is wearing on the cover of Cosmopolitan? Does he really think a boy is even going to look your way if you don’t show just a little skin? Girls just want to have fun and that’s fine, (as long as it’s not too much) but nonetheless, one of the many basic, un-written rules of fatherhood stands: it is a father’s job to ensure his little girl isn’t having too much fun. Which is exactly what Philip Van Munching is trying to do in his guide for dealing with being a teenage girl and how to survive through fathering one, Boys Will Put You on a Pedestal (So They Can Look Up Your Skirt): A Dad’s Advice for Daughters.

Being a former teenage boy and now a father of two daughters, Van Munching knows he has his work cut out for him. Although they haven’t yet hit their teens, he’s taking the proper precautions by writing his daughters an extra long letter about what he expects from them, as well as what he wants and begs of them while they’re in their monumental teenage years. He is coming to terms with the reality that he will undoubtedly have spiky-haired, stubble-faced boys knocking at his door and incessant phone calls from countless boys asking whether or not his little girl is available to go see a movie on Friday night. It’s not something he’s looking forward to and even he wishes he could surpass that step in parenthood altogether, he knows it’s bound to happen. Van Munching decided to write this guide book/commentary when he had a brush with death one day, thereafter realizing that if it really had been his time to go, there would have been so many things left unsaid. So, he wrote this book.

You don’t have to be a father with daughters or a teenage girl to give this a read. I read it because as I approach 20, I’m looking back on my teens and realizing that although there will be some things I’ll miss about those years, I’m actually looking forward to growing up so that one day I can experience those years from the observer’s point of view in the form of a frantic, trying-everything-to-please-her-children mother. Everyone goes through adolescence and parenthood at one point or another in their lives and reading a guide to dealing with tough stuff while simultaneously learning to accept mistakes are educational, can only help all of us.

All in all, Van Munching is a pretty cool dad. He just really wants his daughters to cringe at the thought of drugs, gag when alcohol is so much as mentioned and not have sex until after he has left this world and is in a better place (which, by the way, he doesn’t really see as too much to ask). Chapter after chapter, Van Munching offers practical advice regarding everything a teenage girl is faced with: issues of faith, relationships, sex, drugs, alcohol, the internet, etc., etc..

What started as just a letter to his girls, offering a few tidbits of advice, soon became a 192 page parent/child guide. More than anything, what Van Munching wants readers to take from this compilation is this: what you do today, will affect you tomorrow so play your cards right and think things through carefully. His take on tattoos sums up his standpoint on adolescence quite nicely:

“If you ever seriously think about getting one do yourself a favor first. Go to the drawer where you keep your T-shirts and take a good look at them. What’s on them? Got any designer names or funny sayings? Or do you have T-shirts with pictures of cartoon animals? Wait, of course you don’t: you had the animal T-shirts a few years ago, but you’ve gotten rid of them. You outgrew them.”

Sticking with this theme, he encourages the youth of today to flip through their folks’ old high school yearbooks, using that as hard evidence that what’s in today really won’t be cool forever. But fads or no fads, whether next season’s ‘in’ footwear is flip-flops or moon boots, his girls will have to get used to at least one constant component in their lives: their father’s love.

Pick this book up, even if you only read the chapters that sound most interesting to you; it’s quite enlightening. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some skirts to go try on. Girls will be girls. And boys, don’t even think about it.

Author: Philip Van Munching with a foreword by Katie Couric
Genre: Parenting/Teen Life Skills/Humour

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