It?s my birthday today, and I was thinking about how much women put into birthdays and anniversaries. They expect certain things from the men in their lives and sometimes guys just don?t get it. So, in honor of my birthday, I thought I would help unravel this mystery.

Any milestone, whether it?s her birthday or your anniversary (even if it?s just been a week), is important. Women love to celebrate, they love attention, but mostly they love gifts. Some girls love flowers, some a heartfelt note and others want dinner and dancing. I doubt they would object if they received all three! Any and all attention you lavish upon us makes us feel special, wanted and needed. It reinforces the feelings you have for us and we need to know that we are important in your life. You may think that we should already know this and that you shouldn’t have to constantly tell us; I?m not saying you should be doing this everyday! That would be overkill and we would want to run away from you. But those anniversaries and special holidays (birthdays, Christmas, Valentine?s Day and any other special days your lady has) are the ones you should concentrate on. Oh, and make sure that you surprise us every now and then when it?s not a special holiday or anniversary. That would be awesome! It just shows that you are thinking about us and still care. If I had to pin down a number of times to do this for your girl, I would say once a month would be best; it might work out that you are doing this more than just once a month depending on the celebration, so you can skip a month here and there.

Women differ on what they think is sweet and romantic. The key here is to know your girl and what she likes. Don?t take her bowling if she doesn?t like to break her fake nails! If she?s not into sports, I wouldn?t recommend getting her tickets to the big game. If she likes classical music, don?t take her to an Eminem concert, unless she likes Eminem?s music. Are you getting what I?m saying? Find out what she likes and doesn?t like, preferably a week or two before the actual event. You don?t want to be in a rush and pulling stuff out of your butt at the last minute.

The more thought and effort you put into your surprise, the more it will mean to her. In turn, you will get back what you give. Let?s just say she will pay you back for your effort, tenfold. Women are big on romanticism and if you go out on a limb, or share something personal, whether its’ about yourself or your feelings for her, it will mean so much more than just a cookie cutter card and bouquet. Of course we will take that too; it’s better than nothing. If it’s hard for you to express yourself, or if you?re just not into the romantic thing, a card and flowers are perfect, because it’s more than what you would normally do. Going out of your way, or your comfort zone, extending yourself to us, is the clincher. Being willing to take that extra step, go the extra mile, totally turns us on. To women this means “we mean something to you, you care so much that you are willing to put yourself out there for us.”

It doesn?t necessarily have to be extravagant either. For example, I was dating a guy in college that dedicated a song to me. It was a song that said the things he couldn?t bring himself to say. He did this at the bar we always hung out at. We danced to the song and it was really special. Doing this didn?t cost him a thing, besides the cover charge which he would have paid for anyway. Some girls will like you to do things in public for them, like the song dedication, or signs with Happy Birthday on their locker, or flowers sent to their class. Others will like things to be more private. Like I said, you need to know your girl. My first boyfriend and I used to have a notebook in which we wrote letters to each other. We would write something and give it to the other person the next time we saw each other. I had another boyfriend that would bring me flowers every Friday, because that?s what his dad did for his mom. One guy I dated brought me a dozen roses for my last dance performance and presented them to me in front of the crowd. Another guy drove 300 miles to see me compete in a dance competition and he slept in his car!

I think most guys assume that when they go out of their way it means it’s supposed to be some expensive gift. In most cases, this isn?t true. In all the chick movies you?ve suffered through, most of the romantic guys do cutesy things that don?t cost any money. For example, John Cusack blasting the song ?In Your Eyes? out of a boom box outside his girlfriend’s window; Tom Cruise declaring; ?you complete me? in front of all of Renee Zellweger?s friends in Jerry McGuire. That?s what makes us go all mushy and say “awww.” But hey. if you want to spend money, we are all for it! Treating us like a princess (or a queen for that matter) makes us feel very special. We don?t get treated that way very often?well most of us non-Paris Hilton types?so we enjoy the extra pampering. Opening the doors for us, and seating us in our chair; giving us all your undivided attention is the best aphrodisiac anyone can give us.

Ok, are you feeling better prepared? Remember I?m looking out for you guys; I?ve got your back. Let me know if there are any questions or mysteries that need to be solved. Email me at askdani@msn.com.






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